Well, pray-ers, here's the latest- There was a bit of a hold up at the border, and, as a result, Ramsey got in to Canada too late to make it to get fingerprinted. Of course now it's the weekend and the plan was that they'd be coming home Sunday. The obvious answer would be to stay through until Monday and do it on the way home then, but he has another guy with him and I don't know how flexible that guy's schedule is. If they don't get the fingerprints done in this trip, it means either waiting a looong time for the results from the paper copy to arrive (which would hold up our home study being completed) or making a separate long trip back to Canada to get it done electronically.
Of course my natural reaction is to stress right out and, I have to admit, when I was on the phone with Ramsey hearing this news, my stomach started to sink. But almost immediately God reminded me of news we got on Wednesday that seemed like yet another brick wall and that I went to bed crying over that night- and that He resolved easily the following morning. So I feel remarkably peaceful and am just waiting to see how He's going to deal with this. I'll let you know when I find out!
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
The Infamous Home Visit!
Of all the myriad of nerve-wracking and invasive home study requirements, the home visit has to be one of the more stress-inducing. I know for me, in all the years that we've talked about, prayed about, and researched adoption, that's been the One Big Thing that I've worried about. So I thought I'd write up a description of how ours went while it's still fresh in my mind- maybe it will help ease the stress of someone else that's gearing up for their own!
After all of the paperwork (tax information, background checks, medical information, identifying certificates for everyone in the family, autobiography questionnaires the size of novellas, etc., etc.) is handed in and the home study is paid for, your file is handed over to your case worker who then calls to schedule your interviews and house check. Your case worker is the person who will review all of your information and will write your actual home study.
As it turned out, our case worker said she'd come right to our house to do our interviews and we'd get them all done in one day. Which is a lot to conquer but we were glad to be able to get it over with all at once! We'd be doing a joint interview with both Ramsey and I, individual interviews for each of us, and an interview with the kids (Reuben was the only one that she was required to interview since he's the only one 10 or up, but she included the other kids so they wouldn't feel left out- they got to draw pictures and chime in.). And, of course, she'd be looking at our house.
We had one week from the time I spoke with our case worker to the day that we scheduled our interview for. Which gave us a week to get the house in shape. When we bought our house, it was a fixer-upper. We've done a whole lot of fixing-upping but it's still got a ways to go, so we were a little nervous about that. At this point, the work that remains is cosmetic, and our case worker told me on the phone that would be fine, but still, as you prepare for your house to be looked at, all those little things jump out at you. No trim around the living room windows... or a kitchen window... a bedroom floor needs to be refinished... Is it reasonable to try to paint the kitchen this week?? (No. No, it is not. The kitchen remained unpainted.) So Ramsey spent the week doing home improvement projects that seemed to us to be highest priority, and I spent the week cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. I am, well, a bit of an underacheiver in the housekeeping department, so there was plenty of cleaning to be done. (A bonus of the house check- my home is now thoroughly spring cleaned.)
I knew from plenty of others who have gone through the home study process that the case worker wasn't going to be giving our home the white glove test. But still. You want to put your best foot forward.
Anyway, the day before our visit was scheduled, three of the kids and Ramsey came down with a stomach bug. Perfect. I called our caseworker in the evening to tell her that I hoped it was just a 24-hour bug, what did she want to do? We ended up postponing our appointment from 10 a.m. to the afternoon and would check in that morning to see how everyone was. Come morning, everyone was on the road to recovery. We went ahead with the afternoon appointment.
Our case worker arrived at 2:30; four hours later she was on her way out the door- joint interview, kids' interview, Ramsey's interview, my interview, and the house check complete, about as painlessly as they possibly could be.
The interview questions didn't feel terrible, most of them seemed to simply expand on things we'd already been asked about in our autobiographies. The things we said about ourselves that we would consider to be negatives (we argue, I'm a yeller) just didn't seem to shock our caseworker and on we went to the next question. Kids say the darndest things, you know, so we'd been a little apprehensive to think about what the kids might come up with to say but the kids' interview wasn't horrible (we eavesdropped from the kitchen), and in fact it was pretty fun to hear the things they said- no probing to find out just how terrible a set of parents we were, but more asking about what our family is like and how the kids felt about the adoption, and about how they felt about getting a new brother or sister. No worries there, I doubt there have ever been a more enthusiastic set of siblings!
And then the tour of the house. She saw it all within a minute and a half. She didn't look at the attic, basement, or unfinished side porch, just the actual living space. She cared the most about seeing the room that our new little person will be occupying, and asked in the interview about the bedroom dimensions and the bedroom windows' dimensions, as well as the square footage of the house. She wanted to see that there were smoke detectors on both floors, and asked if we owned a fire extinguisher (yes, two, one on each floor.) Otherwise, it was just a quick tour. At one point, as we walked through the house, she was passing by the bathroom, so I opened the door to show it to her. She glanced in, said, "yup, it's a bathroom," then kept on walking. (So glad I gave the toilet an extra scrubbing!) So, I don't think I needed to focus so much on the cleaning for her benefit, but it would have been a distraction to me if I hadn't so I'm glad the house was nice and sparkly for her visit.
All in all, I'd say that not only did we survive the home visit/interviews, but I even think it all went quite well. And really, so much of fear is dealing with the unknown, and now we know- so it'll be so much easier next time around! ; )
After all of the paperwork (tax information, background checks, medical information, identifying certificates for everyone in the family, autobiography questionnaires the size of novellas, etc., etc.) is handed in and the home study is paid for, your file is handed over to your case worker who then calls to schedule your interviews and house check. Your case worker is the person who will review all of your information and will write your actual home study.
As it turned out, our case worker said she'd come right to our house to do our interviews and we'd get them all done in one day. Which is a lot to conquer but we were glad to be able to get it over with all at once! We'd be doing a joint interview with both Ramsey and I, individual interviews for each of us, and an interview with the kids (Reuben was the only one that she was required to interview since he's the only one 10 or up, but she included the other kids so they wouldn't feel left out- they got to draw pictures and chime in.). And, of course, she'd be looking at our house.
We had one week from the time I spoke with our case worker to the day that we scheduled our interview for. Which gave us a week to get the house in shape. When we bought our house, it was a fixer-upper. We've done a whole lot of fixing-upping but it's still got a ways to go, so we were a little nervous about that. At this point, the work that remains is cosmetic, and our case worker told me on the phone that would be fine, but still, as you prepare for your house to be looked at, all those little things jump out at you. No trim around the living room windows... or a kitchen window... a bedroom floor needs to be refinished... Is it reasonable to try to paint the kitchen this week?? (No. No, it is not. The kitchen remained unpainted.) So Ramsey spent the week doing home improvement projects that seemed to us to be highest priority, and I spent the week cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. I am, well, a bit of an underacheiver in the housekeeping department, so there was plenty of cleaning to be done. (A bonus of the house check- my home is now thoroughly spring cleaned.)
I knew from plenty of others who have gone through the home study process that the case worker wasn't going to be giving our home the white glove test. But still. You want to put your best foot forward.
Anyway, the day before our visit was scheduled, three of the kids and Ramsey came down with a stomach bug. Perfect. I called our caseworker in the evening to tell her that I hoped it was just a 24-hour bug, what did she want to do? We ended up postponing our appointment from 10 a.m. to the afternoon and would check in that morning to see how everyone was. Come morning, everyone was on the road to recovery. We went ahead with the afternoon appointment.
Our case worker arrived at 2:30; four hours later she was on her way out the door- joint interview, kids' interview, Ramsey's interview, my interview, and the house check complete, about as painlessly as they possibly could be.
The interview questions didn't feel terrible, most of them seemed to simply expand on things we'd already been asked about in our autobiographies. The things we said about ourselves that we would consider to be negatives (we argue, I'm a yeller) just didn't seem to shock our caseworker and on we went to the next question. Kids say the darndest things, you know, so we'd been a little apprehensive to think about what the kids might come up with to say but the kids' interview wasn't horrible (we eavesdropped from the kitchen), and in fact it was pretty fun to hear the things they said- no probing to find out just how terrible a set of parents we were, but more asking about what our family is like and how the kids felt about the adoption, and about how they felt about getting a new brother or sister. No worries there, I doubt there have ever been a more enthusiastic set of siblings!
And then the tour of the house. She saw it all within a minute and a half. She didn't look at the attic, basement, or unfinished side porch, just the actual living space. She cared the most about seeing the room that our new little person will be occupying, and asked in the interview about the bedroom dimensions and the bedroom windows' dimensions, as well as the square footage of the house. She wanted to see that there were smoke detectors on both floors, and asked if we owned a fire extinguisher (yes, two, one on each floor.) Otherwise, it was just a quick tour. At one point, as we walked through the house, she was passing by the bathroom, so I opened the door to show it to her. She glanced in, said, "yup, it's a bathroom," then kept on walking. (So glad I gave the toilet an extra scrubbing!) So, I don't think I needed to focus so much on the cleaning for her benefit, but it would have been a distraction to me if I hadn't so I'm glad the house was nice and sparkly for her visit.
All in all, I'd say that not only did we survive the home visit/interviews, but I even think it all went quite well. And really, so much of fear is dealing with the unknown, and now we know- so it'll be so much easier next time around! ; )
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
News, sort of, and prayer requests.
I spoke with our placing agency today. They said that our case hadn't come up in the Thai meeting last week- apparently they often overschedule and don't get to all of the cases. Hopefully, our case will come up in their next meeting. Our agency wasn't sure if Thailand meets weekly or bi-weekly- either way, the earliest we would now expect to hear anything would be next week.
Obviously, I'm bummed that we don't have an answer yet, but at least the tension of "we could find out any second" is now off. I'm back to hoping that we'll hear something in a week or two.
And, while we wait, we continue to move forward on our end. We're getting the house ready for our caseworker's visit tomorrow. (Hopefully we'll still be able to go ahead with that as scheduled- the boys both woke up sick during the night last night. Praying it's just a quick, 24-hour type thing.) After our caseworker's visit, she will begin writing our homestudy. Ramsey has his trip to Canada this weekend, which includes getting fingerprinted on Friday.
Please pray for:
Obviously, I'm bummed that we don't have an answer yet, but at least the tension of "we could find out any second" is now off. I'm back to hoping that we'll hear something in a week or two.
And, while we wait, we continue to move forward on our end. We're getting the house ready for our caseworker's visit tomorrow. (Hopefully we'll still be able to go ahead with that as scheduled- the boys both woke up sick during the night last night. Praying it's just a quick, 24-hour type thing.) After our caseworker's visit, she will begin writing our homestudy. Ramsey has his trip to Canada this weekend, which includes getting fingerprinted on Friday.
Please pray for:
- Chloe
- that when our case does come up in Thailand we will be granted permission to move forward with adopting Chloe
- that the boys will recover quickly and that no one else will get sick
- that we will have a good visit with our caseworker tomorrow
- that things will go smoothly when Ramsey goes to get fingerprinted in Canada and that we'll get the results of that quickly
- that God will provide work for Ramsey
- that God will give us peace and patience as we wait to hear Thailand's decision
Friday, April 22, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Home Study Interviews Scheduled!
We got a call from our case worker today, to schedule our interviews and house check. I swear, the people at our agency have elephant memories- they all remember us from three years ago, when we did a couple of initial orientation type things before Skateboard Ruben. Apparently this lady ran the orientation meeting that we attended. Anyway, she was very nice and put me at ease and was not at all scary. She practically sounded as excited to be getting us through our home study as we are!
As it turns out, we will be getting through our interviews all in one day- Ramsey's and my individual interviews, our joint interview, the kids, the house, all of it. One week from today, next Wednesday! That means we have one week to get the house in shape. I know not to get so stressed about it that I pull out the Q-tips, but there's still plenty to do without getting that detailed. I'm so glad to have it scheduled, and at a time I feel good about- a week gives us time to get the house in shape, but still over with quickly so we can keep things moving along. I so hope we have news by then...
As it turns out, we will be getting through our interviews all in one day- Ramsey's and my individual interviews, our joint interview, the kids, the house, all of it. One week from today, next Wednesday! That means we have one week to get the house in shape. I know not to get so stressed about it that I pull out the Q-tips, but there's still plenty to do without getting that detailed. I'm so glad to have it scheduled, and at a time I feel good about- a week gives us time to get the house in shape, but still over with quickly so we can keep things moving along. I so hope we have news by then...
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Waiting.
Can I just say that waiting is hard?
Those of you who have adopted before are laughing at me right now, I know. But I'm not saying that I'm surprised that waiting is hard, I'm just acknowledging it.
Even the shortest adoption process is rarely as short as the DIY version of adding a kid to the family, and many adoptions take years. Add to that the fact that I am not, by nature, a very patient person (Ramsey, I'm sure, would tell you that is the understatement of a lifetime), as well as the fact that I know enough people who have adopted to have an idea of a realistic timeframe, and I would say that I was fully expecting waiting to be the hardest part of this process. And I was right, so far it is.
I just didn't expect it to be this hard, this early on. I did great with it last week. I knew we wouldn't hear anything, so I just kept on praying and life went on. This week, though. This week is "next week", which is when our agency hoped to have news for us. So each day, between 12 noon and 8 p.m., there is the potential that the phone will ring or an e-mail will show up with our answer. And when the phone rings, I will either be overjoyed and will call everyone I know (all the way back to grade school teachers) to tell them our good news and will write a blog post punctuated with no less than fifty-seven exclamation points, or I will be heartbroken. And will write a blog post. Without exclamation points.
I'm still praying and praying but now I'm just feeling repetitious. God's heard everything I have to say on the subject and now I'm sure I'm just becoming obnoxious. Like the guy in the parable that got his loaf of bread just because he was so darn persistent. I hope I'm that guy. I pray that Chloe won't have to grow up in an orphanage, without a family. I pray that God will move on the hearts of the officials who are making the decisions, and will grant us favor with them. I pray that God will let us be Chloe's family. I pray against spiritual forces that want to interfere and keep Chloe an orphan. I pray that God will let me be Chloe's mama and that I will get to hold her and cuddle her and smooch those sweet cheeks. And on, and on, and on. When I feel like I've prayed, over and over again, every prayer that I can pray, I remember that Jesus is interceding at the right hand of the Father and I'm thankful not only that God is God and I can trust Him, but also that I'm not in this alone and that God knows my heart and it's not about how original, fresh, long, etc. my prayers are.
So. Praying hard, working to get the house ready for the infamous home inspection, and trying to keep in mind that every day that goes by without word is one day closer to the day that we will get word. No news is good news. Right?
Those of you who have adopted before are laughing at me right now, I know. But I'm not saying that I'm surprised that waiting is hard, I'm just acknowledging it.
Even the shortest adoption process is rarely as short as the DIY version of adding a kid to the family, and many adoptions take years. Add to that the fact that I am not, by nature, a very patient person (Ramsey, I'm sure, would tell you that is the understatement of a lifetime), as well as the fact that I know enough people who have adopted to have an idea of a realistic timeframe, and I would say that I was fully expecting waiting to be the hardest part of this process. And I was right, so far it is.
I just didn't expect it to be this hard, this early on. I did great with it last week. I knew we wouldn't hear anything, so I just kept on praying and life went on. This week, though. This week is "next week", which is when our agency hoped to have news for us. So each day, between 12 noon and 8 p.m., there is the potential that the phone will ring or an e-mail will show up with our answer. And when the phone rings, I will either be overjoyed and will call everyone I know (all the way back to grade school teachers) to tell them our good news and will write a blog post punctuated with no less than fifty-seven exclamation points, or I will be heartbroken. And will write a blog post. Without exclamation points.
I'm still praying and praying but now I'm just feeling repetitious. God's heard everything I have to say on the subject and now I'm sure I'm just becoming obnoxious. Like the guy in the parable that got his loaf of bread just because he was so darn persistent. I hope I'm that guy. I pray that Chloe won't have to grow up in an orphanage, without a family. I pray that God will move on the hearts of the officials who are making the decisions, and will grant us favor with them. I pray that God will let us be Chloe's family. I pray against spiritual forces that want to interfere and keep Chloe an orphan. I pray that God will let me be Chloe's mama and that I will get to hold her and cuddle her and smooch those sweet cheeks. And on, and on, and on. When I feel like I've prayed, over and over again, every prayer that I can pray, I remember that Jesus is interceding at the right hand of the Father and I'm thankful not only that God is God and I can trust Him, but also that I'm not in this alone and that God knows my heart and it's not about how original, fresh, long, etc. my prayers are.
So. Praying hard, working to get the house ready for the infamous home inspection, and trying to keep in mind that every day that goes by without word is one day closer to the day that we will get word. No news is good news. Right?
Monday, April 18, 2011
For With God, Nothing Is Impossible...
This video is about a new friend of mine, Charlotte Seehawer, and her family. God led them to adopt their son, Samuel, when it "should have" been impossible. Adoption from Cambodia was closed but God led them to step out in faith and led them through one door after another in order to bring Samuel home. As Charlotte says in the video, the doors were "locked up tight" but God opened each and every one. It was Charlotte's encouragement that if God was speaking to anyone's heart about "Chloe", to listen to Him because God is not confined by man's laws and requirements, that first made us stop and begin to consider if God might be leading us to continue pursuing this adoption.
We don't know what God has in store (though we are hoping to get a clue soon- our agency is hoping to have news for us this week! Please be praying!), but no matter what His plan is, I find the Seehawer's story to be such a beautiful reminder of the greatness of our God and how He desires to use each and every one of us. I hope you'll be blessed as well!
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