After lots of research and discussion, Ramsey and I finally nailed down that we wanted to work with Holt International, particularly with their Waiting Child Program (WCP). The thought that we could be a family for a child who is already waiting for a home and might be less likely to get a family because of special needs appealed to us. We applied to Holt's WCP on February 11th. As we browsed through the photolisting, wondering if one of the kids we saw there might become our son or daughter, one sweet little face caught my eye. She was a baby in SE Asia, and it was speculated that her mother had been exposed to thalidomide while pregnant- this little girl was born with no left arm and her three limbs underdeveloped. There were two photos of her- one in which she is looking at the camera with her head tilted to the side and a slightly inquisitive look on her face, in the other she is grinning a dimpled grin right at the camera. She is beautiful.
I didn't know her name so, rather than call her by the number she was listed by, I gave her the nickname of "Chloe".
After we were accepted to the WCP, I inquired about her. More than once, and felt a little pushy. It turned out that there were two elegibility requirements that we didn't meet. The first was an agency requirement- they required a minimum of 9 months between siblings, to avoid "artificial twinning". She and Zuzu are less than 2 months apart. The second was a requirement set by her country- only 0-2 siblings already in the family, though they will sometimes make exceptions for children with special needs. We have five children at home. The girl that I spoke with was nice but tried to gently redirect me- there was a family that had expressed interest in this little one and they fit the requirements, perhaps Ethiopia or Uganda would be a better fit for us. But, if I wanted, I could check back in a month or so...
Well, we felt that we had to take this as a closed door and began to explore our other options. We still felt a pull toward Asia so we looked into China which is much more flexible regarding family size. But we weren't sure if we quite met their income requirement- we decided to get our taxes done and see where we stood.
I just couldn't forget about Chloe, though. I pictured her growing up in the orphanage and, as much as I wanted to adopt her, I'd rather someone else adopt her than no one. As I prayed and fasted about her one day, I decided that I would at least try to do what I could to advocate for her to find a family. So I posted about her on facebook, I made her my signature line in my e-mails, I wrote a blog post about her. When I contacted a couple of organizations about her, I got some comments. Not just comments, but passionate encouragement that if God was speaking to our hearts about Chloe, to listen to Him. Stating that even if man says no, God can still say yes. More than one person told about their children that they had adopted that they were not "supposed to" have adopted.
At first I struggled with hearing this, wondering if I were just hearing what I wanted to hear, or if God was really conveying a message to us. More talking and praying...
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