Can I just say that waiting is hard?
Those of you who have adopted before are laughing at me right now, I know. But I'm not saying that I'm surprised that waiting is hard, I'm just acknowledging it.
Even the shortest adoption process is rarely as short as the DIY version of adding a kid to the family, and many adoptions take years. Add to that the fact that I am not, by nature, a very patient person (Ramsey, I'm sure, would tell you that is the understatement of a lifetime), as well as the fact that I know enough people who have adopted to have an idea of a realistic timeframe, and I would say that I was fully expecting waiting to be the hardest part of this process. And I was right, so far it is.
I just didn't expect it to be this hard, this early on. I did great with it last week. I knew we wouldn't hear anything, so I just kept on praying and life went on. This week, though. This week is "next week", which is when our agency hoped to have news for us. So each day, between 12 noon and 8 p.m., there is the potential that the phone will ring or an e-mail will show up with our answer. And when the phone rings, I will either be overjoyed and will call everyone I know (all the way back to grade school teachers) to tell them our good news and will write a blog post punctuated with no less than fifty-seven exclamation points, or I will be heartbroken. And will write a blog post. Without exclamation points.
I'm still praying and praying but now I'm just feeling repetitious. God's heard everything I have to say on the subject and now I'm sure I'm just becoming obnoxious. Like the guy in the parable that got his loaf of bread just because he was so darn persistent. I hope I'm that guy. I pray that Chloe won't have to grow up in an orphanage, without a family. I pray that God will move on the hearts of the officials who are making the decisions, and will grant us favor with them. I pray that God will let us be Chloe's family. I pray against spiritual forces that want to interfere and keep Chloe an orphan. I pray that God will let me be Chloe's mama and that I will get to hold her and cuddle her and smooch those sweet cheeks. And on, and on, and on. When I feel like I've prayed, over and over again, every prayer that I can pray, I remember that Jesus is interceding at the right hand of the Father and I'm thankful not only that God is God and I can trust Him, but also that I'm not in this alone and that God knows my heart and it's not about how original, fresh, long, etc. my prayers are.
So. Praying hard, working to get the house ready for the infamous home inspection, and trying to keep in mind that every day that goes by without word is one day closer to the day that we will get word. No news is good news. Right?